Tuesday, August 26, 2014


It's been a long time since I posted.  I started looking at this blog as something professional, and not a space for venting.  Then I got scared about what to post.  But I think I'd like to vent a little bit...


I have applied for two different part time jobs.  I am excited about each one.  Obviously, I can only handle one, and so if I get both, I will have to turn one down.  Possibly I will not know until the last minute.  One of the people I would be working for I have worked for in the past.  I know his style.  His style is to wait for the last minute and then act as if his ass were on fire.  Which is fine.

But while I'm waiting, I got another request from a friend to put in a resume for a friend of hers who runs a production company.  They produce small training videos and public service announcements.  They would be looking for more of a grantwriter than a screenwriter, but it would be an opportunity to work behind the scenes in a real studio.  So I sent off my resume.

Fingers crossed.  Whatever happens, I'm cool with it.  If I get neither job, that would be okay too.  More time for the family.

I am also learning to cook.

My bank account is also overdrawn, so I have to wait until Friday for cooking lessons & then pay a massive overdraft fee.  Boo hiss.

But the cooking lessons are exciting.  I have a friend who is going to show me how to make chicken curry this Friday.  Also, I found a woman with a real cooking school who is going to give me private lessons, one time per month.  I hope I can get it.

I decided not to take karate class.  That is too much.  Instead, I am going to step class with some "friends" from work.  And by "friends" I mean people I am friendly with, who are not exactly my bosses, but higher up on the food chain, and also desirable to hang out with from a professional/career point of view.  So win win!

Monday, August 4, 2014

Fame appeal and mortality salience

I'm not the world's best speller.  And the problem with that is that I love writing.  But if you are going to be published or produced, you better make sure you have no spelling errors.  Case-in-point, I sent away a logline/synopsis today to a producer and heard back "you misspelled the word genie."  Gasp.  I guess that's a "thanks but no thanks."

I get in these moods sometimes when I'm scared.  I want to make my mark.  I want to contribute my verse.  I want to see my name in lights.  Then I would know that something of "me" would live on.  Something of my inner world would be made "real."

Sometimes I struggle to accept the fact that I will probably die without being a commercial success.  Because I am not the best writer.

That's when I want to study the appeal of fame for my degree.  I want to write papers about it.  I want to develop studies and prove points, and again, make my mark.

Death is so terrifying.  Writing is my way of fighting back.  But it doesn't work.  If the universe cares nothing for us, and we are floating in a sea of stars, one among millions, then even Shakespeare doesn't matter.  And then what?  Then enjoy what I have.  Be healthy in an attempt to live as long as possible.  Keep my children close, participate, learn, grow, accept.  Find God?  Oh God, what a beautiful concept, that we are each unique and loved.  I do believe, and yet, I don't know what to believe.  All my major life events have happened during Ramadan.  Does that mean I should fast?  I've tried fasting and it is HARD!  I have no answers, only a nagging feeling that I want to participate in something meaningful, leave something meaningful behind.  I was here.  I loved the world.  That's all I want to say.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Sex Tape

So there's a new movie out called "Sex Tape" its with Cameron Diaz, and she and her husband make a Sex Tape and it gets uploaded to wherever and people see it.  And I think that should be pretty funny.  Also kind of a sexy date movie, whatever.

And so I texted my date:

Me: You want to see "sex tape"?
Him: Hmmmmmmm sure I guess.
Me: Or not? It looks funny.
Him: sure. Do you have a link?
Me: I went to westownmovies.com it says that its in Middletown.
Him: Ohhhhh! I know that movie.  That looks crazy funny.  That's what we should see.
Me: You didn't know what I was talking about.
Him: Hahahahaha. No. Not at first.  I thought you found something on the internet that was funny.
Me: Lol!!
Him: I'm so laughing my butt off right now!

I think this movie must be generating a lot of such misunderstandings!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

I'm on the hunt again

I'm on the hunt again, pitching my spec scripts.  I got spurred on by Kalari's IMDB page.  I can't *wait* to see the film.  I can't decide how I want to watch it.  Walking on my treadmill?  Drinking a beer?  With family?  With friends?

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Taking a break

After a bad review of a script that I was passionate about, I am taking a break.

I am too consumed with screenwriting.

Instead, I am going to focus on losing weight, and finishing school.

(We'll see how long this lasts.  This activity is compulsive for me.)

In the meantime, I am working on a project for another producer, and I have a set of edits due next Monday.  And he said he's going to send a check!!!

Oh-- and I also found another contest to enter, this one for a prize of up to $750.  But I'm only competing against other amateur filmmakers, not professionals.